You’re back from the hospital after the birth of your baby. Everyone—grandparents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, neighbors, friends—all want to see the new bundle of joy. And you want them to meet your baby. You’ve had a life-changing event and you may want to share that with friends and family. But how do you balance company, your own needs as a new mom, as well as that of your nuclear family? Not to mention, how do you keep you and your baby free from exposure to COVID.
Of course you want to show off your new baby and celebrate with family and friends. It’s great to connect and think about normal things, ease back into life, as it may be. And the gifts and meals are so sweet and much needed. But even well-meaning friends and family can stay too long. Further, you may feel the need to host them which zaps more of your energy.
The common advice is to limit visits, but with grandmothers, friends, neighbors, and so many people you care about, it’s hard to voice wishes sometimes. Especially now, with the opportunity for exposure to COVID, it’s best to have a plan for introducing your newborn to loved ones. I’ve gathered some tips on making visits as stress-free as possible.
Newborn Visits and COVID – Planning Ahead is Key
When thinking about who you will be inviting to see your new baby several factors may come into play including how much support you need. Does your partner have a job they must return to? Do you need help because of medical needs after the birth? Not everything can be planned for, but these are a few things to think about before your birth.
- First, figure out what you are comfortable with. Do you want to have extending family or friends inside the home or do you want friends and family to drop off meals outside?
- Weigh benefits of visits. Grandma wanting to hold her new grandchild is different from you needing someone to watch the baby so you can get a nap.
- Determine risks to the baby, you as parents, visitors, and society.
- Decide if you will be requiring family and friends to get tested or vaccinated before visiting. If you need help with caregiving ask the person to quarantine, be tested, and/or vaccinated if that is your comfort level.
- Think about safer alternatives for visits. If weather permits, head outdoors. Outdoor socially distanced visits with healthy guests wearing masks means lower risk of exposure for everyone.
Tips for Welcoming Visitors with a Newborn
Every family is different. Some like having lots of people around. Others would rather navigate the first days of their baby’s life themselves. If you’re thinking of having guests in the first weeks here are some survival tips.
- Pay attention to your body’s need as well as your baby’s. Chances are you’ll have less than twenty-four hours of rest in the hospital before returning home. You need sleep. So does your baby and partner. Don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries with visitors. Sleep when your baby sleeps, and don’t wake the baby for guests.
- You’ll feel better welcoming guests when you’re showered and dressed in something other than the pajamas you’ve had on for a week. Keep a basket in a convenient place with some nice but comfy outfits, concealer, perhaps lip gloss, and a hair tie for a messy bun, for when you have company.
- About the house. It’s a challenge to get your new baby, much less yourself, fed and cleaned the first few weeks. Hopefully, your visitors will realize this. But if you’re self-conscious keep one room and maybe a restroom, reserved for guests if possible. Keep doors to the nursery and your bedroom closed for a cleaner look.
- Your partner can help. Even if they are not there the whole day, decide ahead of time what chores each of you will do. When entertaining decide what roles you will play. Perhaps one person enjoys cooking or serving drinks and snacks, and the other likes sitting on the couch for a chat.
- Don’t be shy about scheduling guests. Especially in the beginning, longer visits can wear new parents out. Plan a visit after a feeding time just before a nap and set visitors expectations. It’s okay to say, “please come by at ten, and just so you know the baby will need a nap at ten-thirty so we’ll need to put them down”. This gives you an out as well so you can get that much needed rest in.
Beyond the nuts and bolts of hosting, think about what kind of support system you want after your birth. Assess you and your partner’s needs. Talk about what you can delegate, what you expect or envision, plan for bonding time with your newborn, decide which visitors and when you will welcome them. Make sure to keep your boundaries and talk about what you want and how your feel. Expect it to be a very emotional time and be willing to give yourself room to rest physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Want more direction on newborns, visits, and COVID-19? Go here to read an article from the Mayo Clinic. Have questions about when it is safe to let people visit your newborn? Go here for more information from Penn Medicine.
All the best,
Danielle Older, MSW, LISW, CCTP
Owner/Therapist
330-595-4575
River Root Counseling, LLC
Client Portal: https://danielleolder.clientsecure.me/sign-in