Overcoming Breastfeeding Challenges as a New Mom
Last week was National Breastfeeding Week, so what better topic to discuss for a blog post this week? Breastfeeding is often no walk in the park – for new moms, seasoned moms, and babies alike. Engorgement, mastitis, thrush, milk blebs, oversupply, undersupply, tongue ties, the list goes on! If you are not familiar with these words or have never experienced them, you are one of the lucky ones. While society portrays breastfeeding as an easy, glamorous, gushing-with-love type of act, it can sometimes be far from this in real life & reality. Majority of nursing mothers will experience some type of breastfeeding difficulty throughout their time of nursing a little one – however this often can be a shock and surprise for moms.
In 2016, the “Fed is Best” campaign began, which highlighted the importance and research of safe infant feeding – whether this be through formula feeding, breastfeeding, pumping, or a combination of these feeding options. Despite this campaign, mothers still feel immense pressure to breastfeed their babies, a pressure that often continues despite significant challenges involving physical, mental, practical, and emotional aspects of breastfeeding. Other times, mothers may feel intense pressure from a cultural perspective as well. When a mother struggles to breastfeed her baby, it can lead to a host of new negative feelings – guilt, shame, anger, feelings of failure or inadequacy, or feelings that she is not doing what is “best” for her child. This can quickly lead down a rabbit hole of blaming herself/her body during vulnerable postpartum moments (which there are A LOT of these when postpartum).
This can cause great distress for mothers, which can be exacerbated by what her family members, friends, and society are telling her. These feelings can be incredibly scary for moms, especially if mom’s reality is not meeting her expectations of what new motherhood/breastfeeding would look like.
In therapy, one of the important first steps is naming & putting words to your hopes, dreams, and expectations of motherhood. Determining the value this holds, where it is coming from, and what it means to you can shed great light on the feelings you may be experiencing as a result of breastfeeding difficulties/differences in reality vs expectations. Determining what your actual experience is versus your shoulds/musts in relation to motherhood can hold great weight in the therapeutic process. Processing through this with your perinatal therapist can be a helpful tool in reframing negative emotions and thought patterns that are causing havoc in your life.
When new moms face breastfeeding challenges, it can be easy to generalize themselves as a “bad mother” or “failed” in breastfeeding. In therapy, your perinatal therapist will work with you in identifying, processing, and reconstructing overgeneralized labels or judgements you might be having towards yourself. A very important part of therapy is learning to extend compassion, grace, and kindness to yourself and your unique situation as a mother. Your perinatal therapist may work with you to challenge unhealthy thinking patterns, emotional reasoning you may be experiencing, and more.
In every walk of motherhood, there are many stumbling blocks, hurdles to jump, as well as valleys and mountains to walk through. Through therapy, you will learn to extend kindness to yourself while practicing resilience that will follow you much after you meet your therapeutic goals.
If you have questions about this blog post, feeding methods for your child, or perinatal mental health, please contact me. At River Root Counseling, I happily welcome the opportunity to support you in your motherhood journey while extending compassion, care, and clinical expertise. Please find below a few resources for all feeding types.