3 Practices for Improving Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is defined as “acceptance of one’s physical and mental attributes, positive and negative”. Self-acceptance includes acceptance of one’s physical attributes, self-protection from outside negative criticism, and believing in one’s own abilities.
Low self-acceptance is a common issue. Reasons for low self-acceptance, according to a Harvard Medical School study are that many who experience low self-acceptance may have had parents who lacked empathy or were over critical. This stems from the theory that we develop our self-esteem, in part from other’s validation of our qualities.
If as a child an individual’s feelings, thoughts, or actions were negated or highly criticized those people may be more apt to have poor self-acceptance. Additionally, they may need much stronger affirmation from others to help them believe a positive commendation. These people often try to improve self-acceptance by increasing accomplishments. But this outside gratification does not substitute for true self-acceptance. They have trouble believing that others genuinely see them as a good person, worthy of caring, and may be suspicious of those who show affection.
A Harvard Medical School study found that self-acceptance is linked to not only positive mental health but also physical health. Self-acceptance is not only linked to self-esteem but also other types of therapeutic practices. These practices, such as mindfulness, may not be as effective if one has low self-acceptance. And if you have a physical medical condition where anxiety and nervousness play a big part, having low-self acceptance makes the condition, for instance rheumatoid arthritis, worse.
Further, it was found that when you feel negatively about yourself the brain regions that help control emotion and stress have less gray matter than someone with higher self-acceptance. The regions of the brain have less tissue to work with, therefore promoting more stress and anxiety.
How can you go improve self-acceptance? These three practices can help.
1. Self-regulation – By rechanneling negative thoughts and emotions, such as self-hatred, refocusing on positive emotions and thoughts, and re-framing negative situations into opportunities, you can improve self-acceptance. Instead of thinking “I’m a bad person because I forgot to stop at the grocery store” think “I forgot. Many people forget things when they are busy. I can go to the grocery store tonight and perhaps have a better list.”
2. Self-awareness – We may not be truly aware of our lack of self-acceptance. These thoughts may be deeply embedded in our psyche, even beyond our control. This creates a type of split. When you cannot accept and forgive yourself you do not feel together, whole as one person. This is where self-transcendence comes in.
3. Self-transcendence – In order to achieve self-transcendence, find a space or activity where you can feel connected with the world. A volunteer organization or religious or spiritual group can help you feel united in mind and spirit. By fostering this unity and positive action and impact in a physical way, you can imprint these positive feelings mentally and psychologically and start to become whole.
Meditation as a tool for increasing self-acceptance
Two types of meditation may aid in improving self-acceptance. These include mindfulness meditation and loving-kindness meditation.
Mindfulness meditation involves not judging but observing emotions as they present themselves. Sitting with yourself, in quiet, and letting thoughts and feelings come to you, accept these emotions, name them without judgment. Let feelings be feelings, happy, sad, scared, anxious, all just feelings, valid and appropriate. Practicing this for fifteen minutes a day can increase acceptance of your feelings as valid and worthwhile and grow that portion of your brain that regulates emotional control.
Loving-kindness meditation centers on having compassion for yourself which is helpful in increasing self-acceptance. Loving-kindness meditation can also change the activity in the regions of the brain that perceive and process emotions. Sit and give yourself positive feedback. Say to yourself, I am lovable, I am good, I deserve happiness. This stimulates the left side of our brains and helps correct the imbalance we see in those with low self-acceptance which has been associated with excessive right-hemisphere activity. Through loving-kindness meditation people who have previously been numb or disbelieving in praise become more accepting of it.
Not all methods of increasing self-acceptance work for everyone and sometimes low self-acceptance can be a temporary state. Self-acceptance can be reduced when experiencing environmental stress such as a family situation, or loss of a job, or mental health challenges.
Being aware of your self-acceptance level is the first step in creating better harmony with yourself. It is important to create a plan for yourself that helps improve self-acceptance whether it be journaling, mindfulness, loving-kindness meditation, affirmations, or other positive feedback practices. Self-acceptance is a major key to healthy emotional, psychological, and physical life. Take steps to find what can help you improve your self-acceptance today.
Danielle Older, MSW, LISW-S, CCTP
Danielle is one of our maternal mental health therapists and the founder of River Root Counseling. Her therapeutic style is individual, evidence-based, and unique to best serve each individual client. Danielle will work with you, at your pace, cheering you on and empowering you as you accomplish your therapeutic goals. Danielle values the therapeutic relationship and works to make each session beneficial and helpful for her clients. Danielle is a mother herself and understands the roller coaster that parenting, and motherhood, can sometimes feel like.
Call River Root at 330-595-4563
Licensed Independent Social Worker with Supervision Designation (Ohio) – I.2002068-SUPV
Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP)
Bachelor’s of Social Work – University of Akron
Master’s in Social Work – Edinboro University of Pennsylvania
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Links and resources:
Harvard Medical School Article
Self-acceptance and Mental Health
Psychology Today 5 Tips for Accepting Mental Health Problems