According to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry 20% of pregnant women will experience some type of mood or anxiety disorder. Anxiety especially can be a natural response to change and bringing a baby into the world may be one of the biggest life changes we experience. Change can trigger fear and uncertainty and when you couple that with fear about your own health and that of your baby’s, as well as hormones, the perinatal period is a high anxiety time for some people.
And whether there is a real threat to your own or baby’s health or imagined possible threat, the reaction in the body is the same. You may experience physical symptoms like racing heart, tight chest and throat, shallow breath, loss of appetite, digestive issue, muscle tensions, and inability to sleep. There may be mental disruption as well. Not being able to focus, constant worry, obsessiveness, or becoming over-controlling, can all be side effects of anxiety.
Just last week I came up with an acronym for helping to remember how to deal with anxiety. The acronym is SOFLO, or SO FLO, and reminds us – “so flow” with it. The S is for SELF CARE, O for OPENNESS, F for FLEXIBILITY, L for LOVING, and O for OWNING.
SELF-CARE
When we’re feeling anxiety and our bodies are reacting, we need tools to deal with what is going on. The first thing that should be top of mind is self-care. When you are eating right, hydrating, taking mental health breaks, getting enough sleep, exercising moderately as your health allows, and meeting up with friends or participating in family events, you will feel physically and mentally better, be more prepared to deal with anxious feelings, and perhaps see anxiety or mood issues decrease. Additional self-care routines that can help is practicing relaxation and mindfulness. Meditation and journaling are two good tools for relaxation and mindfulness practices.
OPENNESS
Sometimes relief from anxiety can be as simple as being open to doing something different or thinking in a different way. When anxiety strikes the reaction is the same as to a real fear. We have a fight, flight, or freeze reaction. You may become hyperactive, get agitated, or shut down. When this happens take some time to recenter yourself. Remind yourself where you are. And then be open to doing something different. Perhaps write your fears down, reach out to a friend and ask them how they deal with anxiety, brainstorm how you would get out of the situation if it actually occurred, take a walk, or turn on some soothing music to reset.
FLEXIBILITY
When we think flexibly, we can rewire our minds to deal with anxiety. Getting anxious about a possible negative outcome can be a normal reaction. It is normal to feel scared or concerned when for instance a partner is late coming home. There may be at least two routes to take to deal with that anxiety. Your mind and body may automatically react with racing heart, tightening chest, and thinking that he or she has been in a car accident or worse. Being able to be rational at that point may be hard but if we can get our minds, and bodies to calm down, we may be able to reroute them. The partner could have been running late and didn’t take the time to call. There could be a traffic jam. Or perhaps they stopped at the store to pickup your favorite treat to surprise you. Change is normal and if we get a mindset that we are able to deal with change this can help with anxiety.
LOVING
Being loving to yourself when your mind and body are reacting in ways that feel negative and out of control can be challenging. But negative self-thoughts and being critical of ourselves only worsens the anxiety. If you are anxious you are not doing something wrong, you are not a bad or broken person. Be in the moment. Accept that you are having anxiety. Treat yourself as you would a friend, console yourself, give yourself a hug, and be compassionate with your own psyche.
OWNING
Part of dealing with anxiety is recognizing our fears, being able to consider more helpful thoughts, ROLL with the anxious ones, and befriending uncertainty. We’re stealing an acronym form Anxiety Canada (link in resources) here and listing steps for moving through anxiety.
- R – Recognize fear or anxious thought, acknowledge it and name it as a thought and nothing more.
- O – Observe the thought. Note how it makes you feel and react, allow it to be without judging, reacting, or changing it.
- L – Let go. After recognizing and observing the thought, choose to let it go. You can use imagery and picture your fears or thoughts floating away like a cloud. You may want to list thoughts and journal, or meditate and picture yourself in a state without that thought or fear. It is important to note that you are not ignoring or avoiding these fears. Avoidance can lead to increased anxiety.
- L – We’ve added LOVE again here. Love yourself through this process.
Uncertainty is a part of life. Accepting that and convincing yourself that whatever comes you can deal with it can be an uphill battle. But practices like daily mediation, journaling, yoga, and talking with support people can help us reset our thoughts and keep us on a track of less anxiety.
Post it on your mirror, tape it to your computer, or hang it on your refrigerator and remember SO FLO. Practice self-care, openness, flexibility, loving yourself, and owning and letting go of fears.
In health,
Danielle Older, MSW, LISW-S, CCTP
Danielle is one of our maternal mental health therapists and the founder of River Root Counseling. Her therapeutic style is individual, evidence-based, and unique to best serve each individual client. Danielle will work with you, at your pace, cheering you on and empowering you as you accomplish your therapeutic goals. Danielle values the therapeutic relationship and works to make each session beneficial and helpful for her clients. Danielle is a mother herself and understands the roller coaster that parenting, and motherhood, can sometimes feel like.
Licensed Independent Social Worker with Supervision Designation (Ohio) – I.2002068-SUPV
Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP)
Bachelor’s of Social Work – University of Akron
Master’s in Social Work – Edinboro University of Pennsylvania
For information and appointment call River Root at 330-595-4563.
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