The holidays are times of many different emotions: happiness, joy, togetherness. However, holidays can also be complicated. You may experience challenging emotions such as anger, grief, guilt, fear, or isolation.
For moms, surviving the holiday season may look different than it did before, and old coping skills may not work as well.
- You may want to attend more family gatherings now that you have kids.
- You may want to attend fewer family gatherings now that you have kids.
- You may be struggling with the grief and loss of a family member, child, unmet expectations of what this time would look like, or your life before kids.
- You may be feeling triggered by a traumatic event that happened around the holiday time.
- You may have new and difficult relationships with family members.
- You may live far away from friends or family and miss them.
- You may get pushback from family on boundaries you set.
- You may be at a loss for how to create a happy holiday season for your kids when you are depressed, anxious, or struggling in other areas.
If you relate to any of these, or are struggling for any other reasons, we at River Root Counseling see you and are here for you. Here are 4 holiday tips for moms to help survive the holiday season.
1. Be selective about your schedule.
The holidays bring about an increase in activities: you may have more activities you are expected to attend, and your kids may also have activities they want to participate in. Many times, saying “yes” to these events can be a marvelous thing for your mental health. However, when you have reached your limit and surpass your capacity, they stop being so helpful. Take an honest inventory of your schedule and routine, and say “yes” to the things that you have the space for and want to attend–and no more than that!
2. Identify, implement, and maintain boundaries with yourself and others.
This “holiday tip for moms” is something that, like the other tips, can be practiced throughout the year. Assess your relationships with people you see during the holiday season. Do you notice any resentment, anxiety, anger, or avoidance? These are good clues that it might be helpful to adjust your boundaries with them. If you have a hard time setting boundaries, remember that a boundary done well is beneficial for the relationship as a whole. If you would like to learn more about boundaries during the holidays, take a look at our blog posts about them (Setting Boundaries with Family).
3. Be creative
As challenging as the holiday season can be, this tip for moms focuses on prioritizing fun both for yourself and your family! Find the things that make you happy and that you want to experience with your family. Build these things into your schedule and make sure that they are a priority. If you have any traditions you would like to establish with your family, engage in those activities. Sometimes having fun requires a little bit of creativity. If you struggle with that aspect, there are many lists of fun holiday activities online. Choose a few you think you might enjoy and go for it!
4. Take care of yourself
A busier holiday schedule doesn’t mean that self-care should go out the window. Be sure that you are making it a priority to take care of yourself through proper hygiene, nutrition, exercise, sleep and socialization. Taking care of yourself allows you the greatest ability to be present and engaged in this season.
I am hopeful that these holiday tips for moms will be helpful for you as you approach this season! If you enjoyed this blog post or found this beneficial, you can read more at riverrootcounseling.com/blog or you can schedule an appointment to dive into this individually with one of our licensed perinatal mental health therapists here at River Root Counseling.
In health,
Denise Vukmanovich